kinda the only way i can put my feelings into words right now…if that even counts as putting them into words…i’m just confused.

i’m over you.

but when you try to mess with me to test me, i idiotically fall for it.

you kissed me.

after we broke up.

and no matter how much we say it did’t happen,

it did.

i kno you’re trying to test me, to push me to see how far i’ll bend for you.

FYI. i’m getting close to snapping.

i really want you to be happy.

i still kind of wish that could mean with me.

i still hold grudges about the ways you’ve hurt me.

but i’ve also let them go.

i don’t know whether to hate you,

or to love you.

i’m kinda in limbo.

indifferent.

to be happy that someone overheard it all? someone outside our circle of really close friends knows theres something about us. i guess it makes it all real.

and he would vote me as the better girl FYI. (:

to know all this time you really still loved her. i guess i always knew. just hurts to hear it all confirmed.

then again maybe it just hurts cause it hurts my pride. to know i’ve never really been your first choice. it’s her. it’s always been her. it always will be her.

i hope you get her someday, just because i really do love you (in a completely platonic way). and because i genuinely care about you, i genuinely want you to be happy.

No matter how cynical i claim to be, deep down i’ll always be waiting for my prince charming, my knight in shining armor, my dream guy. I tell myself all the time: he’s. not. coming.

but i don’t think i’ll ever be able to let go of that tiny glimmer of hope…

so, here’s my legit all honest tumblr. i’ll rant, i’ll rage, i’ll get emotional. but it’s all good. cause none of you, if i ever actually get any followers, will ever know who i really am. so i guess this is all just my unwanted two cents.(: